1. Results – Simply stating you’ve had “proven results” really means nothing to me. Verbally or visually show me your results and you’ll never have to use that boring word ever again.
2. Quality – This can mean a variety of things to any person who views your copy – you don’t want this to happen. Describe the materials you use or the workmanship that goes into your product or service and you can avoid this word.
3. Guaranteed – this one is only O.K. if you have that legal stuff in place to actually back up your statements, and even then, go ahead and try to be a bit more creative, darnit!
4. Buy - Be subtle here. I’m smart enough to know if you’re selling something. Just remove this word from any copy it may be lurking in. Now.
5. Learn - I work hard enough, don’t make me work harder to view/use/try your product. Yeah, it may actually be a simple task you need to complete before I receive whatever it is that you’re giving, but telling me to “… Learn more about our prices by clicking here…” just sounds too hard. I’ll go somewhere else where I don’t have work to get to the information I’m looking for.
6. Tell – This is an oldie, but goodie. Instead of “telling” me something, “show” me – whether it be with words (yes, well crafted wording can show your point very well), visuals, video, even audio clips. A “telling” example: “We just opened 3 new stores in your area filled with all of the latest goods you’ve been searching all over the city for!” A much more effective way to convey this exact message to me is to show visuals from your newly opened stores with a simple headline stating, “Your search ends here.” Simple, yet effective, don’t you think?
7. Things – Don’t use this word. From this point forward, this word may only be used in IM conversations with your friends. Otherwise, it has no place in your marketing copy. Say exactly what these “things” are – you don’t want me to guess.
8. Stuff - same as above.
9. Money – Again with the subtleties. Everyone knows it takes money to buy things (in most cases), so give me some credit and avoid this obvious little word. (No, you may not replace it with “$,” either).
10. Spend – Your message should be so perfectly tailored that I have a pretty darn good idea of what you’re selling and why I should buy it.
11. Investment – Unless, of course, this word is in the title of your company, using this as a synonym for “prices” does not conceal it’s true meaning. Sorry. Oh, and it makes it sound like what you’re selling/offering is too expensive for me to afford anyways.
12. Kick-butt - The only time this copy may be appropriate is if you’re writing copy for action figures for kids; you’ll likely piss off their parents when the kids start repeating this phrase, too. Stop it.
13. Customer service – “Excellent customer service” just doesn’t mean anything. Yeah, maybe you DO have excellent customer service (think: Zappos.com), but these companies show me exactly what they do that demonstrates their customer service, that’s the difference. So go ahead and gloat about it, but only if you do something so freaking cool that I won’t even think about patronizing any other website because of your customer service policy; but do me a favor and express to me your awesome return policy or amazing checkout process without calling it customer service. Thanks.
14. Integrity – Prove it. Give me case studies, blog pots, scans of hand-written letters from other customers claiming you have this. I don’t believe you.
15. Caring -1 Especially in regards to the overly used and increasingly meaningless, “We care!” slogan, cut it out. If you’re in business and you me as a customer, of course you care. Get more creative, dude.
16. Synergy - Cliche. Overused. Annoying. Enough said.
17. Experienced – How are you experienced? Do you hold a degree in horticulture? Are you trained and certified in the maintaining of desert dwelling flora? Have you worked in landscaping for 23 years? Then tell me so!
18. Successful – Again, how are you successful? To me, success can mean waking up in the morning within an hour of my alarm going off. Show me your success, or I will start to assume; everyone knows what happens when you assume — you make an a** out of Uma Thurman.
